Parenting Your Children when Your Parent is Dying

This week Kiki's Dad had a massive stroke. 48 hours later, just as glimmers of hope and plans for top of the line rehab was coming together, kidney cancer was identified with spots were also seen on the liver. Clotting ability was off, lungs were getting wet, inability to swallow, possible aspiration. More and more tears were shed. Kiki called Da and let him know "the latest" and that she intended to continue to share with Hal and his siblings the tidal wave of bad news as it rolled in. Hal cried, Hal talked about cures, and hospitals making people better, and wrong diagnoses. He hugged Kiki and said he was sorry. He asked to skip school the next day and Kiki agreed. Hal said he wished his mustache would grow in faster so he could show Grampa, but that he didn't think it would come in before two months went by. Hal asked if there was a surgery that could take out Grampa's kidneys and wouldn't that mean he lived another year or two? Was Grampa just giving up? Kiki said no, Grampa and Gramma knew best how sick Grampa was and if surgery was an option or not, which it must not be. Hal said it was sad that Grampa would never know his great grand children. Kiki shed more and more tears. Hal asked to see Grampa and that he wanted time alone with Grampa when they went to visit. Kiki told her Dad that Hal wanted to come and show Grampa his mustache -- of which there was none but a couple of stubbly hairs. Her Dad looked in her eyes with his good eye and smiled. Kiki told her Dad that Hal had said that Grampa always treated him like a regular guy. Her Dad listened and Kiki held his hand. Kiki's mom called and Hal answered the phone and they talked about Grampa being too sick to get better. Hal told Gramma to tell his Grampa that he hoped he was proud of Hal and that Hal loved him. More and more tears shed. Of course Grampa was proud of Hal.